Let Boys Be Boys Even if They Can Only Win As Girls

It’s one of those things you never saw coming, and when it does, you just can’t believe it.

Of all the certainties we come to know in our lifetimes, the differences between women and men, boys and girls is a kind of tried-and-true knowing innate to our very being. Ovaries. Semen. Penis. Vagina. Uterus. Testicles. To name just several of the things we understand as part of our physical bodies, our physical world. There is nothing to debate here and it shocks me that people have tried.

That being said. I’ve always had a deep interest in gender studies broadly, and gender roles more specifically. For as long as I can remember, I’ve resisted the notion that gender stereotypes are accurate, representative or realistic. Rather, I have held the belief, that for the most part, they are manmade constructs that serve as a societal vehicle more than they are tenets central to human existence.

Pre-modern times, gender roles organized women and men around divisions of labor. Men hunted, women gathered. It made sense. Responsibilities reflected inherent ability and biological realities, which in turn, informed the shaping of male and female roles. But then, with evolution, gender became more about ideas that defined femininity and masculinity rather than an organic outgrowth of nature and necessity.

Girls were pink, boys were blue. It was dolls versus trucks, dresses versus pants, long hair versus short hair, and so on… As a result, we were divided down gender lines that technically had nothing to do with anatomical sex. That being the case, anyone anywhere should be free to choose which side of the line feels most comfortable. Or, not pick a side at all.

And that’s the point. The whole point.

Everyone has a right to feel what they feel and be who they are. But if we really wanted this debate to be what it claims to be, that is, a fight for inclusion and equity for all, then the road to an impartial solution would be a two-way street. Not one-way in which boys’ personal identities are imposed on girls and thereby forcing girls to compete against the opposite anatomical sex. It’s simply just nuts.

By extension, if we really wanted this debate to be what it claims to be, we would fully embrace and support boys who prefer living as girls and honor girls who are girls and work their butts off training as athletes. All this to say, if we love them all equally and want to treat them fairly across the board, we would accept boys-as-girls on the boys' teams, where the playing field is actually level. No one gets excluded and no one one has an unfair advantage. Anything else is just a game dressing up as something that it’s not.

But really, in the end, how did this argument even get out of the gate when the flaws are so obvious? If the premise upon which this issue were sound, we would also see girls lobbying to play on boys teams. But we don't. There's a reason. And it's a good one.