Doctors Are Upselling, Not Doctoring

A visit to a doctor is more like a visit to a cosmetic counter these days. I say this based on my personal experience with both. First, was when I began my career in business at Chanel where I managed a large team of salespeople in the Northeast. More recently, it’s been an alarming trend in a string of doctor’s appointments where my physicians have attempted to push extraneous product on me, rather ungracefully, I might add.

At Chanel, we used to say, “Do not try to sell a customer an eye cream when they come in looking for a lipstick.” Not that there was anything wrong with selling eye cream. But there was something wrong with such a blatant effort to steer a customer to a more expensive item without addressing her needs first for the express purpose of generating a higher commission for yourself.

Okay, not earth-shattering. It was lipstick. It was more about principle than actual price. But now I’m talking about medicine, not makeup, where the currency is no longer cash and the price we pay is potentially our health.

The first time it happened, I was taken aback. I’d scheduled a routine colonoscopy. In the prep appointment, the doctor asked me if I wanted to test for hepatitis and was visibly disappointed, even annoyed, when I said that I didn’t. Why would we do that? Her response? “Why wouldn’t we?” Um, because I was there to pick up the instructions for my colonoscopy?

Turns out she was promoting a new medication as a cure, though somehow I doubt the veracity of that statement since pharmaceutical “cures” don’t come without side-effects for which there are typically no cures, other than to stop taking the medication itself.

Next, I went to a doctor to have my kidneys checked because I have oxalate crystals in my soft tissue and joint space. Typically, these crystals are found in the form of kidney stones, so it made sense that a urologist was a good place to start. After describing my situation, and showing her pictures, she recommended a cystoscopy of my bladder and diagnosed me (which I later saw in my notes) with overactive bladder. This is after I not only didn’t complain about any bladder issues, (pain or otherwise) but rather, explained that I could sleep 10, even 11 hours without waking to pee. It seems, that if anything, an underactive bladder would have been a better call. I guess any test, albeit unrelated, is better than no test at all.

Cha-ching.

Finally, I went to an ENT for an ear infection. A good old-fashioned ear infection reminiscent of childhood summers. Yes, I had been in a pool. A saltwater pool, no less. While looking in my mouth/ throat this doctor noticed that I grind my teeth. I am classic “Type A” and have been a grinder all my life. He asked me if I had an orthodontist, which I do. He then seemed to ignore that salient point and told me I “needed” Botox to address my TMJ pain.

“But I don’t have TMJ, or pain,” I replied.

“Still, the clicking in your jaw…”

“But I don’t have clicking in my jaw either,” I said wondering why we were not talking about my ear infection.

“Well then you definitely want to get ahead of it, because grinding like that will cause a lot of problems over time.”

“That’s why I have an orthodontist,” I thought to myself, as speechless as I was frustrated and angry that he was not interested in my ear at all.

Finally, he sent me for some hearing tests and eventually explained that it looked like the infection had cleared, and that as a result, pressure had been disturbed behind my eardrum. I was to pinch my nose, and blow, to try to get it to pop like one does when flying on a plane. But, no joke, in his final comments he said, “So with the Botox, we need to order it now, because it takes a long time to get approved.”

Um, but... what about...

BOTOX SIDE EFFECTS

Honestly? And, I removed over a dozen more to make the list fit the page.

It’s not medicine anymore. It’s business. The business of peddaling drugs.